Mom,
One year since you have left us....hard to believe. It seems like so much longer. Do you know what has happened since you left? I have a feeling you do.
Kristin is still at Liberty. Remember those nice dorms across the highway? That's where she lives now. She is still playing volleyball and has lots of new friends. She works for me now...taking care of Korie in the summer. I know you would like that.
Korie joined chorus in school. She loves it. She went to camp this past weekend. She wore a couple of the shirts you bought her last year before you went in the hospital. She loved them.
Steve is still studying...oh, and he is doing varsity basketball this year again. I know you would think that it was too much, and you are right. But hopefully, it will work out okay. He is Elementary Coordinator...what do you think about that? You would be proud of him.
I am still doing bible study. You would be doing it along with me at home. You would be almost done studying Revelation. But I know you get lessons for the Master now. You would be thrilled for me that I went to England and Hawaii this past year. I hope you were watching. England was a life long dream and you knew that. I decided to go while you were sick...not even sure if you remember. I hope so.
We are having Christmas at my house this year. Remember the one other time we did that? You were thrilled that we lit a candle to remember dad. This year, we will do it for you, too.
It has been a struggle without you. I know we didn't see eye to eye on many things but we were still close. I didn't realize until you were gone how much I talked to you on the phone. I still think about calling you just about every day....sometimes it is still a shock when I remember that you won't answer. I called our number the other day...the one we had on Hibbs Road since 1967. I half expected someone else to have it already but it is still just an "out of order" number. I suppose to someone will have it soon though and that stinks.
The Taylors live in our house now. Isn't that weird? I can't imagine it. I don't know if I ever want to go back there again. I don't know if I could stand the changes. I can hardly even write about it. Many of your things are here in my house. That is strange, too. I wonder what you would think?
What about you? What have you been doing for the past year? I would love to know. Does it seem like a year to you? Does it seem like only a day? Surely, you have met dad again. Do you hang out with him? Does he show you around? Do you both watch us? I believe you can if you want to. I just don't think you have the time to do it often. But I don't know for sure. Who have you met? What job do you have? What is your home like? What sights do you see? WHERE are you? I know you are in a temporary heaven but WHERE is it? Are you out in the sky somewhere? Are you around me but we can't see you?
The holidays are coming. Your passing was near them. So near, that last Thanksgiving and Christmas, I think we were in a daze and it didn't seem like you were missing for a holiday. It does seem like that this year. I can't stop thinking about you. I did well afterwards...but lately...it's hard. I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS" is a song that I can't stop thinking about lately as December nears. I can only be home for Christmas now in my dreams...that song is true.
I know God has a plan for each person. A time to be born and a time to die. I just don't know why I am so young both my parents are gone already. I still needed you both... my life isn't always easy. It was nice to share that burden with you at times. It was nice to know that unconditional love was there..within reach.
I am still happy...I have a great family and I am loved and love them. But I have a hole....it was there when dad left and my life changed forever..but you and our childhood home, kept that hole filled enough that the pain didn't always ebb through. Now, it is just really empty and I am having trouble filling it up. I am glad I have the Lord and I have the Hope of seeing you again. But until then, it is a struggle.
The way that you left us was difficult. You were so sick and so many difficult things happened. I hate sin for many reasons but the suffering it causes makes me detest it with all that is in me. It is hard for me to accept that both you and dad had to suffer before you left. I am thankful yours was only 21 days instead of the year of suffering poor dad had to endure. But it was a diffuclt 21 days and I am reliving them this week. I am so sorry for any way that I added to it. I know you wanted out of that bed and you got very angry at me for not letting you up. I hope you know that I wish you could have had anything you wanted. I hope you weren't angry with me when you had your last thoughts of me. It was always a comfort to me that dad's last words were, "I love you, too, Donna"....thinking of what you may have been thinking has been a struggle for me.
So, as this "mile marker"...this "year" is now gone...and the time that I last talked to you gets farther and farther away...I will keep going on....remember that sign dad had us paint for youth group?..,Keep on keeping on....well, he taught me to do that...and I will. But as our lives keep changing and growing, the fact that you aren't here with us will never be far from my mind....no matter how much time passes. I wanted you to know that.
One year.....how many more to go until we are all together again?
One year since you have left us....hard to believe. It seems like so much longer. Do you know what has happened since you left? I have a feeling you do.
Kristin is still at Liberty. Remember those nice dorms across the highway? That's where she lives now. She is still playing volleyball and has lots of new friends. She works for me now...taking care of Korie in the summer. I know you would like that.
Korie joined chorus in school. She loves it. She went to camp this past weekend. She wore a couple of the shirts you bought her last year before you went in the hospital. She loved them.
Steve is still studying...oh, and he is doing varsity basketball this year again. I know you would think that it was too much, and you are right. But hopefully, it will work out okay. He is Elementary Coordinator...what do you think about that? You would be proud of him.
I am still doing bible study. You would be doing it along with me at home. You would be almost done studying Revelation. But I know you get lessons for the Master now. You would be thrilled for me that I went to England and Hawaii this past year. I hope you were watching. England was a life long dream and you knew that. I decided to go while you were sick...not even sure if you remember. I hope so.
We are having Christmas at my house this year. Remember the one other time we did that? You were thrilled that we lit a candle to remember dad. This year, we will do it for you, too.
It has been a struggle without you. I know we didn't see eye to eye on many things but we were still close. I didn't realize until you were gone how much I talked to you on the phone. I still think about calling you just about every day....sometimes it is still a shock when I remember that you won't answer. I called our number the other day...the one we had on Hibbs Road since 1967. I half expected someone else to have it already but it is still just an "out of order" number. I suppose to someone will have it soon though and that stinks.
The Taylors live in our house now. Isn't that weird? I can't imagine it. I don't know if I ever want to go back there again. I don't know if I could stand the changes. I can hardly even write about it. Many of your things are here in my house. That is strange, too. I wonder what you would think?
What about you? What have you been doing for the past year? I would love to know. Does it seem like a year to you? Does it seem like only a day? Surely, you have met dad again. Do you hang out with him? Does he show you around? Do you both watch us? I believe you can if you want to. I just don't think you have the time to do it often. But I don't know for sure. Who have you met? What job do you have? What is your home like? What sights do you see? WHERE are you? I know you are in a temporary heaven but WHERE is it? Are you out in the sky somewhere? Are you around me but we can't see you?
The holidays are coming. Your passing was near them. So near, that last Thanksgiving and Christmas, I think we were in a daze and it didn't seem like you were missing for a holiday. It does seem like that this year. I can't stop thinking about you. I did well afterwards...but lately...it's hard. I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS" is a song that I can't stop thinking about lately as December nears. I can only be home for Christmas now in my dreams...that song is true.
I know God has a plan for each person. A time to be born and a time to die. I just don't know why I am so young both my parents are gone already. I still needed you both... my life isn't always easy. It was nice to share that burden with you at times. It was nice to know that unconditional love was there..within reach.
I am still happy...I have a great family and I am loved and love them. But I have a hole....it was there when dad left and my life changed forever..but you and our childhood home, kept that hole filled enough that the pain didn't always ebb through. Now, it is just really empty and I am having trouble filling it up. I am glad I have the Lord and I have the Hope of seeing you again. But until then, it is a struggle.
The way that you left us was difficult. You were so sick and so many difficult things happened. I hate sin for many reasons but the suffering it causes makes me detest it with all that is in me. It is hard for me to accept that both you and dad had to suffer before you left. I am thankful yours was only 21 days instead of the year of suffering poor dad had to endure. But it was a diffuclt 21 days and I am reliving them this week. I am so sorry for any way that I added to it. I know you wanted out of that bed and you got very angry at me for not letting you up. I hope you know that I wish you could have had anything you wanted. I hope you weren't angry with me when you had your last thoughts of me. It was always a comfort to me that dad's last words were, "I love you, too, Donna"....thinking of what you may have been thinking has been a struggle for me.
So, as this "mile marker"...this "year" is now gone...and the time that I last talked to you gets farther and farther away...I will keep going on....remember that sign dad had us paint for youth group?..,Keep on keeping on....well, he taught me to do that...and I will. But as our lives keep changing and growing, the fact that you aren't here with us will never be far from my mind....no matter how much time passes. I wanted you to know that.
One year.....how many more to go until we are all together again?
