January 22

On Sunday, Kristin will be 16. That is so hard to believe....here are my memories of Kristin so far:

Car crash, lots of visitors in the hospital, knowing she would be okay, yelling at bathtimes but quiet and still afterwards, spitting up...A LOT...never going to sleep, fastest crawler ever, sock in the mouth as she crawls, having 2 pacifiers, one to suck on and one to hold, jogging in place on the couch pillows, she and Steve fighting with empty 2-liters as their swords, calling Steve "Daddin", being scared of dogs, having lots of boyfriends (when she was LITTLE)....she would say...Evan, Derek and Joshua and sometime Big Judson were her boyfriends, watching Michael on Barney, pitching and spiking with her balls or balloons in the living room, always having a tissue in her hand, talking to Grandma and Papa on the video camera, saying, "Grub, Grub" instead of "Scrub Scrub" when visiting her sister in the hospital, hugs after naps...I took advantage of them since they were few and far between, crying...loudly at swim lessons, talking constantly, knowing the words to the story and saying them with me, wanting to be a "shooting star" from the get-go, being able to make Korie laugh when physical therapy days were hard, the first day of Kindergarten, Brian Mouring asking her to marry him, never going right to sleep, crying the first time she got a B, being the tallest in Upward basketball and being very good for her age, getting her hair done for Stefanie's wedding and looking so gorgous and then sitting up at the big table drinking sparkling water, getting saved and then baptised, 5th grade graduation, having dad for her bible teacher for 3 years, making the MS basketball team and winning the title, sleepovers with Regan, Hope and Roni, birthday parties, wearing braces for 5 years and all the visits to the Orthodontist, making JV team, being on the Black Widows and going to Nationals in Tennessee, being afraid of roller coasters, babysitting for Faith and Alan at Camp Open Arms, going to high school, making varsity in basketball and volleyball, going to Washington DC...just her and I, the first time she got a varsity award in a tournament, letting her go to camp for the first time, all the Presidential fitness awards she received, the first time a boy showed interest in her, being a leader in her class and teams, talking in her room about her day, letting her go to Mexico on a mission trip, how special her youth group became, boys in the picture now, making Homecoming court and now about to get her class ring and license...how did all that and more happen in this short amount of time...my goodness...her time here is almost over.

God, help her to love you more and more as the years go by, help her to stay close to family, to never forget what she has been taught through the years, to always seek Your will and to finish school ready to face the world with the person that YOU have chosen for her....and someday her daughter will turn 16 and she will know the love that a parent has for a child and how their heart can hurt but be proud at the same time. Keep her close, may she always feel Your love and know that YOU are everything she needs for life. Amen

January 19

Happy Birthday, Bobo! May you rest in peace. I loved you! You were my childhood....and you are both missed....:)

LOSS

I wrote this in October but lost it when I couldn't remember my blog username!! Anyhow, I have it all figured out now and thought I would post this one again.

Today I was reading about Loss. Like most people, I have a few losses. One is the dream of a healthy child and one is my dad's death. Both of them threw me for a loop and took a while to get over. But anytime we are challenged over a death of some kind, we are challenged to allow the loss to bring gain for Christ. While reading about this in my Beth Moore study, the story of the death of Lazarus was brought into focus. Jesus loved this family and was very moved and heart broken over Lazarus's death....(this account says Jesus wept over the death of His friend)...but there are reasons listed in the account in the book of John for Lazarus's death. Verse 4 and 40 say it was for God's glory and for Christ's glory, vs 11 says Lazarus died so He (Jesus) could "wake him up", vs 15 said it was so the disciples would believe. So God had reasons behind this as He does for us. I think one of the things that was hardest for me, was not only the loss, but my loss of faith. It took awhile for me to recover it. Satan had turned my losses into bondage.Also, Beth suggests that God never allows any illness to end in death for a Christian. Death is never the end of anyone's life in Christ. Dad is still living...just in a different space and time. He will live for eternity because he accepted Christ as the way to heaven. And Korie's problem is temporary. For all eternity she will have a perfect body.And life is always about change. I hate change. I detest it. I don't even like it a little bit. And yet over the last few years, God has really changed me and I believe it for the better. I have a long way to go but yet I am learning to let God be God. He has become the only explanation for my emotional survival. What else do I need in life? I have it all. I have a wonderful family, the best church in the world and the best friends. And I have God who has given me all these things because every gift I have comes from Him.

New Year's Quotes and Sayings

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. ~Benjamin Franklin

New Year's Day is every man's birthday. ~Charles Lamb

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~Hal Borland

New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights. ~Hamilton Wright Mabie

The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months! ~Edward Payson Powell

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. ~Oprah Winfrey

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
~Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1850

Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past. ~Henry Ward Beecher

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Glory to God in highest heaven,
Who unto man His Son hath given;
While angels sing with tender mirth,
A glad new year to all the earth.
~Martin Luther

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. ~John Burroughs

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. ~Charles Lamb

A happy New Year!
Grant that I May bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year.
~Edgar Guest

A New Year

Wow, a new year. It is like a fresh sheet of paper or a clean chalkboard....all new and open with lots of potential.

But if I was honest, I usually dwell on Dec. 31 instead of Jan. 1. I have never liked new years. I guess that means I don't like change or moving on. To me it is another day closer to getting older, to the day that Kristin leaves home, to the day there is another big change in my life.

Lately, I have looked at it a little differently. It reminds me of how grateful I need to be that God lets us "start over" when we mess up. He always gives us another chance....gives us a "clean slate." So like the year ahead, 2006, we can have a new "sheet of paper" to write on. And we can make better decisions, good choices. I am very grateful for that.

So, I will look forward to 2006 instead of missing 2005. I will trust God for the changes ahead and know that He will be with me as I go through them. I will know that His plans are perfect and I can rest in Him. So, in a big leap of faith, I embrace 2006 with all its challenges and all it's joys and remember that on Dec. 31, 2006, I will be wishing it could stay. So I will enjoy the year as it comes and live each day to its fullest.

Hello 2006!! Welcome!